Into The Alps We Go!
Well it looks like the fix is in. This train has every upsetting personality imaginable as well as lovely ladies (Michelle Pfeiffer). Anyway we can’t even pull out of Istanbul without problens.
Let’s see… There seems to be a well known man who hates paparazzi on the train. And yes. Even back in this age paparazzi seems to exist. Go figure.
I like how our celebrity is so intimidating the camera guy smashes his own camera rather than upset him. Nice. Kinda funny too.
We have what seems to be a hit man or assassin in the train? Hired by one of the passengers to do… Something? Not a Ghoul though. But timely. This movie loves playing Fallout music…
And Fallout Season 1 is a resounding success. Hmm… Guess I’ll buy the Season 1 DVD when I can. I’m already watching it because Amazon Prime so… Go figure. It’s enjoyably well made.
Getting the OCD Belgium detective on the Orient Express may not be as easy as one might think. It’s booked solid. Luckily someone fails to arrive to the train, and Poirot is out in his spot on the train.
Yeah yeah. This missing person is going to be part of the whole mystery on the train isn’t he. Well that gets Poirot on. And lucky him! He gets to talk to hot Victorian Era Cougar Michelle Pfeiffer… Cougar? I thought she was a Catwoman… Sorry.
Let’s see. Adding to the uncomfortable pile? Johnny Depp seems to be playing a crazy American with a gun fetish. After all he walked into the Orient Express armed, and threatens staff to do his bidding. Urgh. Very reassuring.
But why stop there. Michelle Pfeiffer seems to know the celebrity guy. And during first meal out (traversing the Alps) she has a run in with the most racist scientist in all of Eurasia!… Yup. So far out possible kill list is Armed Johnny Depp, and Racist White Tweed Guy. Great.
Yeah. If I remember right the only riddle is finding a bit guilty person in this movie… Ugh… Speaking of guilty?? Why did they make Dame Judith Densh’s character a crazy Basic Fur Fan??
On the bright side? I found out one guiltless passenger! The dog! It’s gotta be the dog… Right? Agatha Christie wouldn’t have a Basic Dog join the parade of the guilty would she?… Right??
Hey. Why is Poirot interested in Michelle Pfeiffer’s cougar lady? He does seem to wave and say hi to her alot. Also the movie hints at a past love in Poirot’s life that ended badly… I wonder if there is a movie out there telling this story?
Anyway we are traveling through the Alps. We have people performing some kind of business in thevtrain. We have an armed American in Johnny Depp. And a racist guy too. All as we move towards that death… The hallmark of Murder On The Orient Express. The actual murder.
We continue onwards tomorrow. Maybe someone will have died by tomorrow’s review. We shall see. Stay tuned.
Pop Goes the Darke Raven 