There’s No Escaping Love… Or Ex-Fiancees… Or Death.
The signs grow that it’s going to be Linnet that dies. Even as the gang boards the Nile ship SS Karnak… The Egyptian locale, not the alter ego of Johnny Carson.
As the ship loads up and departs, the ex seemingly left behind, Linnet nevertheless seeks out Poirot. Making sure he’s part of the cruise. Why? Because she has a revelation…
Now, this might be a non surprise to all of us… Yeah it’s a non surprise… But Linnet’s 1930s entourage isn’t exactly filled with worldly philanthropic people! I’m fact there are people ready to kill for her money.
No sooner does Poirot agree to be Linnet’s trusted one plus? He find his black grim reaper suit… And is there as the couple’s lawyer has Linnet sign an entirely new will. Rushing her along…
Yup. Let’s see… Things NOT to do While on a Poirot vacation. Don’t disrupt the harmony of his snack cakes. Don’t fly kites in the pyramids. Don’t sign brand new wills meaning your life is now forfeit… Yeesh.
Oh. We need some happiness. Ok. Turns out Poirot’s buddy is in love with the younger of the mother daughter soul singers brought in from America! He’s worried his mom will not approve…
She probably doesn’t but who cares. At this huge temple dedicated to Rameses II (not the Yurl Brynner version) and his wife (one of eight… OH! So Yurl Brynner’s Rameses didn’t need to stay with what’s her name after Moses killed his entire army! Oh!
Anyway like with Orient Express the visuals are great in this movie. Even moreso here. After all, they’re bringing Late 1930s Egypt to life! These visuals of this huge temple is just awe inspiring.
The cruise stops here as everyone explores the ruins. Plus it’s friend tells his mom he’s in love, and with her kinda sorta blessings he commits to his love. Willing to work hard to make a marriage work. Awww! How beautiful! And her mom approves of him!
Uhh… This is to make up for the sadness to come from the murder right? They’ll actually leave the movie happily ever after right? All this love is reminding Poirot of Katherine so… They’ll be the happy ending for love yes?
Oh. Then while at the temple they scoot off alone, and he’s seconds away from flipping her skirt up and… Sheesh! Rule34 in my Poirot movie?!? Why!!… It’s stopped by someone trying to cause a falling rocks incident.
Is this tied to the ex? Spoiler… She caught up and arrived at the ship just as everyone left. But she hasn’t left the ship since arriving so no… It’s another person in the group.
Sure enough, returning to the ship confirms Linnet’s worst fears. The guy’s ex is here. And she’s now at wits end. Despite that, Poirot tries again to talk some sense into her.
But she is no more willing to give up now than she was when he last spoke to her. Which leads to some powerful acting from Kenneth Brannagh. As he tells us how Katherine died.
His range of acting as Poirot is awesome by the way. From OCD, to straight man, to buddy pal, to angry and even every man relatable. Now his strongest saddest moment.
We find out that Katherine died shortly after the opening scene. She was visiting Poirot in December, just as he was about to be discharged after recovering from his injuries in the front. Killed by a German mortar attack that destroyed her train.
I figured as much. The only way that we can get a Poirot Katherine team up trilogy… Is to set it in an Alternate Reality. I’m cool with Alternate Realities but not many are like me. Sigh. Well… We will always have fan fictions.
Affected harder than she realized by Poirot’s story, the ex tries to get drunk. Only the staff departed the ship for hotels nearby… Apparently there’s no crews left on this ship at nondescript the medical team.
Linnet goes to bed, having taken her sleeping meds already… Yeah I know what your thinking. I think so too. Anyway the guy harasses his ex until she snaps. She shoots him in the leg with her shiny gun.
It’s a large chaotic scene afterwards. Getting the doctor. Salinger frantic ex. Getting the husband cared for… Yes. It’s 1930s ships with little in the way so sound dampening walls… You know what th–
NO NOT THAT RULE34! Sigh. Yes. Linnet doesn’t react to the loud noises and screaming and such. She might already be dead from poisoning. Except someone is going to shoot her and cloud the investigation. Aren’t they.
Morning comes. Who wants to bet Linnet is quite dead. So place your bets. Was she needlessly shot to mask a possible poisoning? Who did it? And will there be any happy endings for anyone in this movie? Stay tuned.
Pop Goes the Darke Raven 