Let’s Go Fly A Suspects… I Mean Father The Kite… I Mean Deadpool & Wolverine’s Newest Trailer Is Awesome.
The suspects are gathered. The likely killers lined up. And Poirot regrets dropping by his favorite nightclub for his favorite desserts. Dammit! He should have kept Dessert #7!
So that guy flying a kite on the pyramids near the Sphinx? He’s a friend of Poirot… Wait… Was he the guy who aided Poirot in Orient Express? He talks about working on a train.
Poirot ends up joining him and his mother as they are involved in the Honeymoon Of The Damned. Aka the happy couple Poirot ran into six weeks ago in the UK.
Only they’re now married. And on their honeymoon. Followed by the cast of suspects who may either love the couple… It want to kill one of them.
Thanks to Poirot’s friend who is a part of this wedding group? He knows all the attendees… Wait… Why are they still here?!? This is supposed to be the Honeymoon!… Oh. Right. Murder.
Also only people written in a late 30s setting Agatha Christie novel would invite both best friends AND potentially hate filled murderers along on the wedding slash honeymoon!
Worse? They have been entouraging behind the couple for awhile now. As we find out as they’re being stalked by… The Groom’s ex. Yes. Apparently he was going to marry another woman before his wife Linnet. Litterly swapped brides mid engagement.
Apparently this woman has been stalking the couple since she was dumped. Her strategy? Prove that the guy still loves her by… Following him, then staring silently at them at every event they go to. Because simply having security toss her is a no no.
Also? Someone in this group is feeding her this info and keeping her close. After all this is the 30s! Nearly a century before Social Media, let alone mobile smartphones was born. She’s being kept in the loop by someone.
Oh. When we first find out they’re married? They meet Poirot for the first time. Despite being in the same nightclub six weeks ago? They didn’t see him. Anyway he saves Linnet from a random Asp.
Hercule Poirot. So he doesn’t stop the Nemean Lions… He does out his cane down and deter random attacking Asps. Also I’m betting this will be Chekov’s Asp and it’ll come up again later.
They want to hire Poirot to investigate the jealous ex fiancee. Poirot tells them point blank that he’s unable to do anything. No crime has been commited. But they insist it’s coming to the point she’ll do something unhinged.
Turns out? They’re not wrong. Deciding to try and rationalize with her himself, Poirot talks to the woman. Only to find a most obsessed woman in terms of convincing the married man to leave his wife for her.
Except we are now left with hints he can’t leave her as she’s the rich one of the marriage. Which leaves open the thought of who is about to die in this movie. I’m betting Linnet as she does seem to be the intersection of Greed Blvd and Psychotic Ovession Street.
We find out she loved that guy since he first met Linnet back in school. When they both were in a production of Anthony & Cleopatra (prequel to the 60s Italian ancient exploitation popcorn muncher movie Herod The Great).
She played Cleopatra… Until Linnet was cast as Cleopatra. They’ve been Ninja High School fighting for the same guy ever since. Ugh.
But that’s not the worse. She decides to show Poirot her contribution to the growing game of Clue going on. Her shiny micro .22 caliber revolver. The so called ladies handgun.
Deciding she’s a genuine threat, Poirot tries to convince the couple to end their honeymoon now. Retreat back to the UK, lock themselves in Linnet’s manor, and have the crazy stalker arrested for trying to kill someone.
Except Poirot’s friend derails it all by listening to the crazy woman, and relocating the Honeymoon onto an Egyptian Nile cruise ship. At behest of said crazy woman. Dressed up as Elizabeth Taylor Cleopatra.
Well. Great. I didn’t know Agatha Christie had an obsession with killing people in Trains & Boats… All we need is a Plane & Bus kill and we complete the circle of public transit kills! I can’t wait for Kenneth Brannagh’s Murder On Pan Am Flight 7 and Death On The London Busline…
So it’s time to see who dies. As the suspects are all crowded on this giant Nile cruise boat… Also? Will Poirot chew his pal a new one for being conned by the crazy woman? Guess we find out… Tomorrow.
I’m pretty sure it won’t be another death by group like last time. We should have just the one killer yes? And probably a hefty larger caliber bullet to kill with than the shiny .22 already seen. See you.
Pop Goes the Darke Raven 